3 Ways to Engage Responsibly with Life

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What a title! It almost sounds like you're about to hear another lecture from your mom or dad, filled with the kind of remarks that take you back to your adolescent years.

But this time, it's different. In this article, I'm going to share with you 3 practical ways engaging responsibly with life can enhance your performance and success, not just in your role as a manager but in your life as a whole.

I'm pretty sure you're already familiar with all of them. However, these concepts often come across as hollow, having lost their original meaning and impact over time for being overused in the corporate world without an appropriate organizational culture to reflect or support them.

But remember one thing: as managers, YOU are the organizational culture! The way you behave will dictate how others will behave. What you allow, that you will grow. This is why it is even more important for you to see these are not only words but can be an inspiration for how you can live your life in full and still be in management.

Then, what if you'd truly listen to them and take them to heart? Let’s dive in and explore.

1. Self-Reflection & Growth

Many middle managers aim to become proficient in managing with a growth mindset. In management, numerous situations and relationships need to be navigated consciously and tactfully.

Therefore, it’s crucial to become aware of how you experience each of these situations or relationships. Ask yourself:

• Do you feel overwhelmed?

• Do you find yourself feeling triggered, focusing on proving you're right instead of addressing what needs to be done?

• Do you attempt to be everyone's friend in hopes of being liked, instead of managing situations and relationships assertively?

• Are you often upset or irritated by interruptions, or by what you perceive as a lack of collaboration from peers, your team, or even your manager?

• Do you find yourself competing with team members, missing opportunities to nurture the collaboration required to achieve the team’s goals?

• Recognizing what triggers you, what hijacks your focus and attention, or drains your energy is paramount in management.

If you allow external factors to sway you, you risk making decisions based on perceptions and unchecked assumptions. This can lead to compromised relationships or eroded credibility due to missed results.

From this perspective, self-reflection is not just a buzzword. It's a tool at your disposal, and even if you haven't used it much before, now is the perfect time to start.

To manage with a growth mindset, setting aside time for self-reflection is essential. This habit of self-reflection will foster a healthy practice, helping you to understand your actual strengths and areas for improvement, not only in your knowledge but also in your character. It will motivate you to act further in alignment with your personal values and professional life.

Understanding oneself leads to better decision-making, increased empathy towards oneself and team members, and the ability to inspire and lead effectively. Managers who engage in self-reflection understand how they contribute to creating or exacerbating stress or stressful situations and are motivated to change these patterns. As a result, self-aware managers are better equipped to handle stress, recover from setbacks, adapt to change, and guide their teams with ease towards success.

2. Work-Life Harmony

Many managers champion the importance of striking a balance between professional responsibilities and personal life, ensuring neither is neglected. However, understanding the concept doesn't necessarily mean they know how to implement it effectively.

Particularly among younger or less experienced managers, there's a tendency to interpret work-life balance as compartmentalizing life into two separate spheres: one for work and another for personal life. This approach might seem feasible initially, especially when personal obligations are fewer, and the manager might not yet have a spouse, children, or others to care for.

Yet, as life evolves and new priorities emerge, compartmentalization becomes untenable. Our brains struggle to distinguish between being at home and being at work, often leaving us preoccupied with family concerns during work hours or agonizing over incomplete work tasks while trying to relax or sleep.

Moving beyond compartmentalization takes time, but the solution is straightforward: embrace the complexity of wearing multiple hats simultaneously.

Indeed, you can be a CEO and also a parent, spouse, or child. You might hold two PhDs and be a distinguished research scientist, but during life's pivotal moments - like giving birth - you are simultaneously a woman, patient, wife, and soon you will be called mother. You inhabit all these roles at once, and it's crucial to never lose sight of this reality. Learning to balance these roles without feeling overwhelmed or neglecting any aspect is key.

To master this skill, it's essential to engage in activities that rejuvenate and fulfil you outside of work, such as crafts, hobbies, family time, fitness or spending time in nature. 

This involves setting clear boundaries, like no work emails, reports, or calls after hours. It also involved maintaining a high work ethic within the working hours for not to feel guilty outside of work for wasting time or the company’s resources. Having strong work-related virtuous habits helps because they will provide you with the structure for a productive and fulfilled day at work. 

As a manager, educate your team on the importance of recharging and encourage them to make it a habit. Advocate for flexible work arrangements and respect personal boundaries to support a healthy work-life balance. Lead by example with effective time management and prioritization skills, and impart these principles to your team.

Falling into the trap of "just finishing one more thing at work" is easy, but management is inherently cyclical, involving planning, executing, measuring, reporting, and repeating. While the details may vary, the essence of management work is largely repetitive.

A well-balanced approach to work-life reduces burnout and enhances job satisfaction for both managers and their teams. It cultivates a healthier work environment, leading to greater productivity, creativity, and team morale. Managers who achieve work-life harmony become more approachable and less stressed, fostering a positive and supportive workplace culture.

3. Relationship Building

Cultivating strong relationships, both in the workplace and in your personal life, paves the way for a more supportive and enriching existence.

Initially, building relationships might seem effortless. However, as life or role becomes more complex, many managers retreat into their "own cave," particularly those in operations, project management, production, and professional services who might limit their interactions unless necessary. On the other end of the spectrum, C-level executives, business development, and sales managers are compelled by their roles to foster relationships, even when they might not feel in the mood to do so.

For both groups, this approach to relationship-building can eventually feel like: for the former like a constraining chore, for the latter like tiresome. The realization of the need for authentic and meaningful connections often comes late, prompting the question of how to initiate such relationships without them feeling contrived.

The key realization is that before expecting authenticity from others, you must first decide who you want to be in that relationship and then allow yourself to be that person. Again, learning it is a process.

From this perspective, at a personal level, engaging responsibly with life means making deliberate efforts to invest time and energy into nurturing relationships with family, friends, and community. This includes regular check-ins, spending quality time together, offering support when asked, and being fully present during interactions. And that might require you to give up your mobile phone, movie binging or any other activity you might use “as your cave” irrespective of how beneficial is that activity, think of the excuse of reading or a very engaging hobby such as car repairing. Whatever is too much and used to “hide” you, will not support you in your relationships.

From a professional standpoint, it involves creating a positive work environment through open communication, team collaboration, and mutual respect. It's about recognizing and celebrating team achievements and offering support and guidance on building meaningful relationships.

Equally important, your relationship with yourself significantly influences your management success. Self-criticism will undermine your initiative, motivation, and energy. Unfortunately, many managers still mistakenly believe that self-judgment is a form of responsibility.

True responsibility in relationships, whether personal or professional, involves acting wisely, with respect and compassion for all participants, and aligned with your goals. Overcoming self-judgment often requires a process, with many managers turning to coaching to positively and effectively reconcile their relationship with themselves.

Reforming the relationship with oneself can increase self-confidence and enhance the sense of control over one's life, leading to fulfilment from the simple things. Strong personal relationships with various stakeholders at work provide a support network that boosts overall well-being and reduces stress, which, in turn, positively affects professional performance.

Engaging Responsibly Through Coaching

One of the most effective ways to engage responsibly with life self self-development. Investing in a coaching program is a commitment for evolution, you make to yourself. Being your own sponsor heightens your development accountability. You become not only your own client but also the sole resource for your evolution. The only obstacle is yourself, and the key to progress lies with you.

A coach's role is to mirror you to yourself and encourage your next decisions and steps. They will help you focus on meaningful areas, facilitating a transformative process. Partnering with the right coach not only accelerates this journey but also enriches the experience.

While self-development can be achieved independently, it often takes significantly longer, sometimes years or even decades. Without the right guidance, the transformation process can be stressful, with high chances of giving up, procrastination, or enduring unnecessary "emotional bruises." An unguided journey also risks learning incomplete or incorrect lessons rather than experiencing true transformation.

As we journey through both our personal and professional landscapes, the pathway to genuine growth and fulfilment often requires a guide. 

To you, the dedicated manager at any stage of your career or life, I extend a warm and confident invitation to embark on a transformative coaching journey. 

By choosing an individual coaching program (1:1) you receive a highly customized approach, tailored precisely to your unique needs, challenges, and aspirations. It considers your current stage in life, your management role and length in it, your career objectives, and personal goals, ensuring the guidance you receive is as individual as you are.

For those ready to speed up even more their personal development journey, I am thrilled to offer "Master Your Resilience"- a program designed to fortify your resilience core, ensuring you remain in command of your choices, actions, and emotions. It enables you to approach situations with clarity, focus, motivation, and vitality, and it fosters a readiness to listen, a willingness to seek collaborative solutions, and a composed approach to overcoming obstacles. It gives you tools and new perspectives to embrace your role's triggers, challenges and successes with ease and confidence. 

Let's meet each other and see how can I support you. therefore, I invite you to choose your best interval for your complimentary strategy call or indicate your intention to join one of the next Master Your Resilience group coaching by filling in this FORM.

Until next time, keep thriving!

Alina Florea

Your Management Performance Coach

Summary:

 

In this article, we delve into three transformative practices for middle managers seeking to deepen their engagement with both their professional and personal lives. From cultivating self-awareness and achieving work-life harmony to building stronger relationships it offers practical strategies for leading a more fulfilling and impactful existence.

Highlighting the interconnectedness of personal growth and management performance, the article underscores the importance of continuous self-reflection, the balance of various life roles, and the cultivation of meaningful connections. Managers are encouraged to embrace these principles not only to enhance their well-being but also to inspire and lead their teams more effectively. Leaving truly and fully to these principles is something that is learned over time. Personalized coaching journeys offer the right structure for speeding up this learning while keeping the managers who chose this form of development, safe, accountable, motivated and, ultimately, certain of their transformation.